I got nothing to say today. Which for those who know me, would find that hard to believe. But it is true. I have a lot going through my mind and am not sure how to work it all out. Even trying to put it into words is difficult for me. It all boils down to me trying to find a job and the current "job" situation I am finding myself in. While The Job itself is great, the money is not. It downright sucks. And as much as I would like to keep The Job, I need to do what is best for my family financially and that ain't it! The problem is that those who recommended me for The Job probably wouldn't see me leaving The Job as the right decision (as they would take it personally) and have the ability to make my life in this small town, and my husbands who works for the same organization, hell. Since my husband has plans to stay there for years to come, I really do not want to put him in this position. Of course, him being of the male species, just says F*** them, do what you have to do. But me being of the female species wants to make everyone happy and not have people mad at me. Just writing all this makes my head itch.
I realize that on the grand scheme of things, this is so minor. I will at least have an income starting in a week, as meager as it may be, and I was up front when I went it to discuss the job, that yes, I was interested but since the pay was so little, I would have to keep my applications out there in the hope that another job would open up. And since The Job is only temporary as the full time person may still come back, can they really expect me to do anything different? I mean seriously. We want to buy some land and finish fixing up our house and none of that is possible with the income The Job is offering.
Life decisions suck.
(And I guess I had more to say than I thought I did!)
